How I brought compassion into my life
What caused me to look closer at how I was treating others and how I could change it
Compassion. Everybody struggles to be as compassionate as possible, including me. I have struggled to be as empathetic and compassionate as I can, but I have made progress.
I didn’t realize I had a problem with compassion until I went to various sources in my life. It kinda all came at once; my life lined up to tell me that I needed to be more compassionate. The first thing that happened was that I was having a disagreement with someone in a few of my classes. She found it a waste of time and potential to be focused on the path of spirituality and faith, instead of something like surgery or engineering. Now I have nothing against these career paths, but they are not the way that I want to better the world. Because of my issues with her, I started to look for words in my life that talked about compassion.
Around the same time, I was reading the Dedham covenant and taking a deeper look into the words that I say every Sunday without even thinking. The Dedham covenant, or at least the variation that my church uses, says that, “Love is the doctrine of this church.” I realized that I wasn’t showing love to those around me, and if I showed my love for all those around me, including my classmate, I could overcome my issue with her.
That Sunday, we were studying Matthew 5:38-5:441, which speaks of turning your cheek when one hurts you, loving your neighbor, and praying for those who persecute you. This can be really hard to do, especially when the words they say hit a little too close for comfort. In class, we talked about people in our life who have made us feel angry, who we might consider our enemies. I didn’t feel as though I could consider her an enemy, but she did make my feel like my goals in life were less worthy than hers. We talked about how we could try to love our enemies, and how we could go about doing so. Throughout the day, I kept on thinking about the many ways that I could try to love my classmate. I could make sure to offer her help with the math we were doing, or congratulate her on her recent award, or partner up with her next time we did a partner activity. These things may not be a proclamation of love towards my classmate, but they were stepping stones towards having more compassion and empathy towards her.
I also had to realize that she was raised with different values, by different parents, with different goals, and that she is a different person than me. I thought about the pressure she might be facing from her parents to get a good GPA, so that she could get into a good school and get a good job making good money. I may not want all the things that she does, and that’s fine! This was hard for me to realize, and to actually ingest into my perspective, but once I did, I started applying it to everyone I know, not just people who I constantly struggle with.
After all of this transpired, I went home, lit a candle, and wished for her success and all the things that I was aware of that she wanted in life. After I had said all these things and blown out the candle, I felt relieved. I no longer felt obliged to carry this hate towards her. I may never be friends with her, or want to be friends with her, but I still wish her the best in life.
Just because I was able to be compassionate towards one person, doesn’t mean my journey towards being a more loving and compassionate person is even close to over. This is a journey that will continue my whole life, and different things will come along to push it farther. And this is not just my journey, this is a journey that everybody, and I mean everybody, needs to travel. Can you imagine how our world would change if every single person tried to be just a little bit more compassionate every day? So this is me asking you to, the next time you and someone you know can’t seem to get along, try and think about how you could be more empathetic and compassionate towards them.
Best of wishes,
Artie