At the conference I attended over the past summer, we would be silent for what felt like ten or twenty minutes. I could sit silently and think about everything and nothing. I don’t think I had ever meditated like that-with my mind so empty. It was so nice. I don’t think I had ever intentionally been that quiet. Even when I’m alone, I talk to myself and my cat about what I need to do. I even sleep talk! I process verbally, so whatever is going on in my life-everyone hears about it. Silence just isn’t natural to me.
I have three siblings, so when I was younger, there was never a dull or quiet moment. My sister and I shared a room, but I loved to follow my other sister around the house and do EVERYTHING with her. I don’t think I was truly ever alone until 3rd grade, much less silent.
The first time I remember attempting silence was at a church summer retreat. The teachers wanted us to meditate, and I’m sure I tried my hardest (which would be being silent for no more than three minutes). As time went on, more people tried to teach me to meditate. At the same summer retreat, in 7th grade, we had a teacher who LOVED meditation. We would go to the comfy couches and he would play a guided meditation. It was quite nice, but I often fell asleep.
I now try to find more silence in my life. I sit comfortably in the silence during the blank parts of conversation. I start off zoom calls and the like with a minute or so of silence to have everyone start the meeting calm and focused. I’m not perfect, but I’m getting better at loving the silence in my life.
Best of wishes,
Artie Evans